It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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