If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
