In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize
