At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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