So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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