my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
