do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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