You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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