Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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