"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
