Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
