Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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