I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
