So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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