Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
