The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
