I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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