New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
