he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
