rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
