you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
