i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
