you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
