for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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