check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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