We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
