i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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