my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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