it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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