he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
