Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
