belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Randomize
