Too much gin, very little bucket
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
