For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
