Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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