sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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