I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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