She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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