i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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