i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Green mimosas i think yes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
