Kiss
Puke
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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