Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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