u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
