And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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