The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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