just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
