alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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