it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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