I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
