i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
