i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
