My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
