The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
