i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
