is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
