and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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