If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
