...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's never too late to be topless.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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