haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
