Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
