i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I AM VODKA MAN
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
