Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You are a genius and a whore.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize