Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this will be a night to untag.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
