Someone shit on the floor
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
